Monday, June 18, 2018

I would break the law for my child

Nothing like an international crisis to get me writing again.

I've been in a terrible mood. I should probably unplug, stop engaging with those not in my camp, get a pedi..... But nothing like Fathers Day coupled with a side of mass family separation in the news to send me in tailspin.

Okay, tailspin is a slight exaggeration, more of a little hiccup.

But as I accidently got engaged in a argument with someone who lovingly called these Littles at the boarder 'Spawn of Derelicts' , I realized we got some haters running around.

My rational mind screams, do not engage! do not engage! But all the sudden I think I'm Luke Skywalker bulls-eyeing womp rats in my T-16 and I fire. And I am engaged. Shit. It's me and Darth Vader. Or according to some, I'm Darth Vader

Here is what I do know from my own broken, life-long-separated-from-my-own-Littles head.....

We cannot use our children as pawns.

We cannot use our children as pawns.

We cannot. We cannot. We cannot.

This emotion we are toying with is so primal, so instinctual- nothing is more violating to our core than separating us from our Littles.

Put them in an air conditioned facility. Feed them peanut butter and jelly. Put them in front of a nonstop reel playing SpongeBob Squarepants and give them some crayons. Tell yourself you are doing the right thing.

And then go home and smell your child's head. Inhale that primal scent that goes back to the very first time you smelled that sweet head. My god.....nothing smells more pure.

Imagine someone taking that sweet scent away from you.

What would you do?

Is the thought unimaginable? Because it should be.

When Samantha was a babe I 'smuggled' a non FDA seizure drug into the US from Canada. This drug stopped her hypsarythmia and her constant seizing. One evening UPS didn't deliver it on time and I drove four hours to pick it up right before the fulfillment center closed for the weekend. I made it five minutes before they closed.

I sat in my car with this precious medicine in hand and sobbed. Sobbed because I made it. Sobbed because my daughter needed this med that we could not get in the states. Sobbed because we were so very vulnerable and at the mercy of so many others. Sobbed because I would have knocked the door down had it been locked.

We are wired to fight like hell for our kids.

Yes. Polices need to be changed, both sides need to come to the table. But in the meantime, do not underestimate the irreversible harm we are doing to parent and child.

Smell that head. Tickle those feet. We only want what is best for our Littles.


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