Lucky Charms

Living with a child as sick as Samantha, the inevitable was in the back of my mind. I hated to think about what could happen, even though I knew the chances of that happening were a very true reality......

What would I do if we lost her????

I always thought I would turn to something dramatic and life changing.....I will live in Africa with the elephants.....I will work with children who have AIDS......I will work tirelessly at Children's Hospital, consoling parents of terminal children......

Today I went back into the professional world. Surprisingly, I went back to the company I worked at before Samantha got sick.

I decided I didn't want to work with the elephants......I want something familiar. I want to work with old friends at a job that I liked and I did well.

So I did just that.

Driving in today was a little bittersweet. For as demanding as being Samantha's mom was, it was seamless and lovely. It will always be my favorite job.

Going back to work is a big step in moving forward....a big necessary step. I couldn't watch another episode of Oprah, my sweats were starting to fray and I need a little structure and another focus in my life.

And now I have it.

I walked in today to hugs, smiles and comments of we are so happy you're back. And I am too.

Tomorrow our group is having a breakfast meeting. We're supposed to bring our favorite, taboo, sugary cereal.

I'm bringing Lucky Charms.