Sunday, September 26, 2010

It is none of my business what other people think of me.....

But we still worry about it don't we?

Well I do.

Which is actually kind of funny because I can be loud, somewhat opinionated and I know I have been known to offend.

Still worry about it.

And it bothers me that it bothers me.

I presented to a group of nurses a couple days ago on how to work effectively with parents who have chronically ill children. The discussion was lively and somewhat controversial but it got us all talking about how to work as a team.....talking is good.

I walked away empowered and feeling great.

And then I read the reviews......

"I'm so bummed," I told hubbie. "Five people, 4% of the group disagreed with the material presented, my material."

Hubbie laughed, "Only 4%? What did the other people think?"

"I guess they thought it was helpful."

"95% isn't bad."

"Um.....96%.....but what did those five people think?" I asked. "Did I upset them? Did I say something wrong? Do they not like me? Why couldn't I be 100%?" And then I laughed because I sounded slightly neurotic......only slightly.

Truth is, I never really wanted to know about those five people. It's really none of my business what they thought of my presentation and given the nature of the conversation, they probably were offended. It's hard to talk about how parents and nurses can collaborate better without getting a little emotional....we all have our stories.

Despite really wanting to sit down with those five people and hear their opinion, listen to what irked them, I am trying hard to let it go. Why focus on the bad evidence when the good evidence is good? Why spend precious brain time on this? People are going to like ya....or not and I guess it really is just none of our business.....

that's what I'm telling myself.


TinyDancer said...

Well I like you miss Heather and as a future nurse I always LOVE to hear what parents have to say about the good and bad parts of their relationships with their nurses.

Deana said...

In my case, they would probably be the ones I asked to not ever be Max's nurse again!

Kidding aside, I think there will always be a small percentage of people that just don't get it. Even nurses, even doctors, even other parents. And whether they liked what you said or not, they still heard it, and maybe will take something away and apply it to the next family.

Thank you for still speaking for us all...I for one, couldn't imagine having a better person present our side of things to those who treat our kids.

Fawn said...

Hi Heather,

I haven't been able to keep up my online relationships in a while, so it's been a looong time since visited. I am so sorry to read that Samantha passed away. I can't seem to get to the older posts in your blog and wish I could catch up better... but I wanted at least to let you know that I was thinking of you.

Elizabeth said...

I am exactly the same. In the work I've done with an organization that works for improvements in healthcare for children with special needs, I've been "rated" many times as a member of the faculty. I'm always sick at the few people -- the 1-5% -- who give me a mediocre rating.

Oy, the ego is strong!

KWombles said...


I can relate to negative feedback taking up headroom. Maybe this will help distract you; I gave you the versatile blogger award yesterday on my blog,

You don't have to pay it forward if you don't want to, but I wanted you to know that I deeply appreciate your blog.

Cathy said...

Hi Heather! I think it's great that you went and gave the presentation - good for you. And after 11 years of taking my own seminars on the road, I totally get it about that danged 5%... but you know what, they're using complaining as a substitute for "power" and they could never do what you do. You rock. See you soon! Cathy

Anonymous said...

I was there at the presentation and I think you should just forget about those 5% and concentrate on the 95% that thought your presentation was wonderful!!!

Those other 5% are the nurses we always wanted to "fire" anyway.

You had so many nurses that came up to you afterward--there was a line. Those are the ones that "get it".'


Amanda said...

It's alright, I tend to offend at leas a third of the folks I come in contact with ;) I hope your day went well, You have been on my mind.

Trauma should be the hall pass to life's other issues. Someone should tell the hall monitor

I posted something cryptic on Facebook Saturday. It caught a lot of attention from my tribe but it really wasn’t a big deal…. nothing ...