Monday, October 12, 2009

I'm bringin' sexy back

Hubby was gone last week on a business trip. As any parent of young children, sometimes you gotta spice things up. I decided we needed a lovely dinner for two, little wine, little music, little candle light to celebrate his return.

That's right my friends...spicy!

Friday afternoon- crab legs are on sale...mmmmmmm crab legs.. Chocolate eclairs are on sale! Wine...well there is always room for wine. Romantic dinner shopping is done.

4:00- Magazines, newspapers, Samantha's toys, clothes and untidy medical equipment are put away. Candles, jazz and wine glasses are set out.

5:00- Flight from New York is delayed

5:30- Delayed even later....crab legs are put back in the frig...wine and eclairs remain on the counter.

6:00- Flight has finally left...two hours delayed

7:00- Leftover pizza...crab legs will wait until tomorrow.

8:00- Samantha in bed....I'm bored. TBS is showing Coyote Ugly

8:05- Coyote Ugly is an awful movie

8:30- Bart's plane hasn't landed...three eclairs have been consumed. I pour a glass of wine, take a bath and paint my toenails

9:00- Deciding that Bart will be home sometime tonight, I search my closet for some cute pre-wedding, little Victoria Secret outfit.

9:30- I'm cold....it's 27 degrees outside. I accessorize my little outfit by donning a pair of thick fleece socks.

10:00- I cuddle up on the couch with the down comforter and the nightly news

10:02- I have a conclusion.....lacy outfits are not meant to be worn for long periods of time. Lace is scratchy, itchy and really not warm at all. The only comfortable part of my body is my feet...which are wearing fleece.

10:05- I change into my flannel pj's...the ones with the penguins playing hockey. If I know one thing in this world, I know this......there is nothing sexier than pink, flannel penguins playing hockey. Unless you happen to have a full length flannel granny gown.

10:06- I make a note to add a full length flannel granny gown to my Christmas list

10:11- zzzzzzzzzzzzz........

11:00- Braving icy roads, high winds and delayed planes....hubby has returned... returned to his drooling, penguin clad wife, snoring on the couch....

That's right....I'm a delicate flower....

8 comments:

ferfischer said...

Ha! This is totally my life. Thanks for the laugh.

Unknown said...

.......There's always tomorrow!!!

Love your blogs, Heather! Love you!!

Heidi said...

Anytime you want to borrow my "no sex tonight flannel nightie" - just call! Loved this blog my friend!!!!

Amanda Jaksha said...

Heather...you are so thoughtful. My hubby will be jealous if he reads this post ;)

Rena said...

that is so funny! and so true.

Anonymous said...

oh
my
god.
You are HILARIOUS!!! I so love this story because it is so apt. But what's even cooler is this...I imagine B walked in to see the lacy outfit on the floor, the candles burned to the nubs and the eclair crumbs on the counter and was able to glimpse the plans you had for him...and that made him love you all the more.
The best laid plans illustrate the heart's best intent...
big kiss for you
Alissa

KatieK said...

You crack me up! Love this post! :)

getbornmagmomma said...

Heather,
This is hilarious! A perfect piece for get born! Let me, let me print it!

Trauma should be the hall pass to life's other issues. Someone should tell the hall monitor

I posted something cryptic on Facebook Saturday. It caught a lot of attention from my tribe but it really wasn’t a big deal…. nothing ...