Sunday, May 10, 2009

The deeper side of Mother's Day

I have to preface this by saying I had a great Mother's Day. Samantha joined us for a fun round of golf (she felt it necessary to help drive the cart), had a lovely dinner and most importantly, Samantha had a good day. Let's face it, when Samantha has a good day, everyone has a good day!

I had so much fun I forgot to take pictures. Fortunately Nonnie stepped in so footage will be posted soon.

As I was getting ready this morning I thought about how happy I was that we were not in Children's for Mother's Day.....these are the crazy things that go through my mind when plucking my eyebrows.

Well, what about those families who are in Children's today? I thought. Would they still find joy in the day? Open Mother's Day cards while sitting on that little pull-out bed? Have brunch in the hospital cafeteria? Can you celebrate while being worried and sad for your child?

My thoughts went back to Mother's Day three years ago. It was the first Mother's Day after we lost Jack....

again, I think I should just stop plucking the eyebrows if these are the thoughts that go through my head during this procedure.

How did you get through that? That had to be a sad day. Funny thing, I don't remember being sad. Introspective perhaps, but not sad. Why was I not sad? Did I block some memory out? Did I repress some bad Mother's Day juju three years ago?

And then I remembered that three years ago I was quite pregnant with Samantha.

And then there, in front of the mirror, with tweezers in hand, I felt so very grateful for my little girl. My grooming session was also over because I was all weapy.

She had given me hope that Mother's Day; my dream, my faith, my tiny wish. I hadn't even met this little peanut but she had allowed me to look into the future with a new sense of optimism.

What a good daughter. Hope, that was her gift and it continues to be her gift; every single day. That's better than any Hallmark card, even if it does play music.

Thank you Samantha.



3 comments:

terena said...

beautiful.

Princess Abigail said...

What an amazining ode to your gorgeous little girl. She deserves every word of your touching poetry here. We are totally with you : Samantha rocks!

Princess Abigail said...

ps: maybe I haven't been following your blog for long enough to understand.... Who was Jack?