On Jack's 10th birthday I decided to bike Flagstaff as tribute to his very short time with me.
I got 1/4 of a mile on my ride and my chain broke....
The one thing that would make my bike go would make it go no more.
I looked at my riding buddies and held my sad chain, my crazy metaphor to my day- broken, stretched, snapped.
"What will you do now?" asked Maria. It was early, bike shops were closed and I had a big, bag of bad juju to unleash.
"I will go to yoga." I said with fierce determination and turned and coasted down the hill in my chain-less bike.
I went to a yoga class I hadn't been to before. I came in, stressed, sad, mourning and needing an outlet.
And so my yogi stretched my Psoas.
Now that doesn't sound quite right, perhaps a tad naughty....even the name, So-Ass...although your supposed to pronounce it with a lipsy quality to make it sound less naughty...pthsoas....
Regardless, mine is exceeding, excruciatingly, tight. The psoas muscle lives deep in your belly, extends to your spine and down to your femur. It is called your flight-or-flight muscle and when you tense up, it tenses up, tightening like a rope from your belly to your legs. The baby boa constrictor of your muscles.
Well that's no good.
So on Jack's birthday, in a short hour, we worked my flight-or-fight muscle, unleashed some pain that had been living in my belly.
It ended up being a good day.
Today I got up early to attend a yoga class, found out that yoga class had moved....missed the class and then later in the day ended up back in the yoga class I attended on Jack's birthday with my famous psoas yogi.
Today I stretched, for the first time since my half iron man, I felt my tight, tired muscles and laughed at my sad Warrior II. The windows were open in the studio because it was so hot and the sun lingered over the Flations.
"Turn your hips, ground your feet and face the mountains", our yogi instructed.
I turned and saw the gold of the Fall on the hills, the setting of sun. I settled into my pose and breathed, Ah yes, here I am
This week is Mitochondrial Awareness Week. And many amazing caregivers will post many amazing things about what they will do for their Mito children and their impacted loved ones.....
I thought of you all today as I turned to the mountains.
I know you are many times in a state of fight or flight. I know your psoas too, is tight and wrapped and tense. And I know, you can't you visit the cute yogi in Boulder after your chain has become so worn, it has snapped.
And I know that you wouldn't trade it for the world.
But I do hope you can find some time to get into your Warrior II, turn your hips and face the mountains.