Beauty

Beauty:

Last week I forgot my bike shoes on a ridiculously early morning ride with my wonderful friends.

Forgetting bike shoes on a road bike is like forgetting ski boots on skis, cause you’re all strapped in, all fancy like

…that and I drove in in slippers.

There was no riding for me.

Which was bad because I woke up all amp’d to ride and then I couldn’t…..

….and then the stress of the day took its toll

….mito kids were not doing well

I came home and I needed to ride.

My bike shoes greeted me at the door like abandon puppies…were ya’ been? You left us!  

Or that is how I would like to think of them because they are so stinkin’ cute!

Here they are left over right….mixin’ it up.

I rode. Head full, heart heavy.

I rode more, head clear…

I rode more….heart beating too fast to be heavy

I rode more….I could no longer think, only yell back at my legs

My legs are COMPLAINERS!!!!

A butterfly landed on my hand….kinda because I was climbing so slow, the butterfly thought I was a good place to land…like a very slow island. And I studied this delicate, beautiful wonder until a bead of Heather sweat landed on its wings…..

EWWWWWW…

It flew away.

This week was hard. Our special needs community lost a dear boy.

Lost….he died.

It is surreal to me that I am part of a community where children die. But I am, and in an odd way, this reality is what connects us. This unreal, horrible , vulnerable reality connects us.

And the news was sent out. And we all processed it….as mothers, as friends, as warriors. And we cried….

And then we search for the beauty.

I think these Special Needs Moms are amazing; I don’t know if it’s because bad news has been told so often, the good is searched for and then inhaled like oxygen.

Or if the bad has been told so often that every new day is a gift.

Or if magically, they find a way to clear the head and fill the lungs.

No matter. To bike shoes. To a beating heart.  And a sweaty butterfly.