Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Expectations


Last Monday was my birthday.

"41, life's just begun," ....this is what my husband has claimed as my mantra.

It's a good mantra but at 41, I feel I have lived quite a lot of life.

We drove to Fort Collins for a fancy birthday dinner.

On the way over, my husband asked if I this is where I thought I would be at 41.

I glanced over at him. He has grown a beard for the winter. Every year when it grows in, it becomes more and more speckled with grey. The grey mixed in with the ginger makes him look a little older in this distinguished, rugged manner. His beard matches the orange in the frame of his glasses which matches his turtleneck.

I looked over at him, driving down College St. and was happy he's my husband.

"Honestly?" I said, "I thought we would be in a different place. I thought the back of my car would be littered with french fries and stuffed animals. I thought that on my 41st birthday we would be debating what kid-friendly restaurant would take us for the evening. In my head, my expectations were a little different."

He reached over and patted my knee, "yeah, me too."

"and it's not that it's bad. Look at us, we're going to a nice restaurant to meet great friends, drink wine and have a fabulous meal. Tomorrow we're getting up to ski. And I love you. And I love that you love me. And I love that we have helped each other through this. But no, I had expectations for a different 41."

And he held my hand as we drove to the restaurant.

Expectations suck.

1 comment:

getbornmagmomma said...

Especially when they're so damned unfulfilling. Happy Birthday, sweet friend. I'm glad you were born.

Trauma should be the hall pass to life's other issues. Someone should tell the hall monitor

I posted something cryptic on Facebook Saturday. It caught a lot of attention from my tribe but it really wasn’t a big deal…. nothing ...