Sunday, August 22, 2010


In the four years of Samantha's life, I did not leave our house often without my family.

Bart and I went on 4 overnights without Samantha.

Outside of those four days, time was spent either with our immediate family, grandparents' house or all of us together at TCH.

Despite my traveler attitude, I had become a bit of a homebody.

And that was okay.

So Santa Fe, my four days away from home, was a bit of a stretch.

And that was okay.

But today, I found myself on the plaza, tired of turquoise and silver and decided I needed to go to Sunday Mass.

Santa Fe is full of beautiful Catholic churches.

I'm not good at traditional Catholic Mass. I don't know the prayers...when to sit, when to stand. I know the Lord's prayer and that's about it.

And that was okay.

I listened intently to today's homily. The lesson today was that I needed to think outside of conventional terms and rely on my inner strength. I guess I was looking to answers in Santa Fe and perhaps I found them.

I got home at 7:30 tonight and held my husband. It was lovely, lovely to be home again. I read cards and emails from friends and family and sat in Samantha's room.

It still smells like her.

To finding our inner strength....and to stepping outside of what makes us comfortable...even if it's only four nights.


Deana said...

And this will be my prayer for you, to be able to continue to find daily inner strength. Hugs and love to you.

Anonymous said...

****sigh**** love you and love your words. So apt--as always

KWombles said...

((())) May your inner strength be an endlessly flowing river providing you all that you need to remain afloat.