It is almost Mother's Day.
And I have been reading great posts about wonderful mothers.
And I have been reading touching, strong posts about mothers of special needs children.
And I have appreciated and loved them all.
But I always squirm a little when I am sent emails about how special I am for raising a child with disabilities. Because I do not feel special.
I did not sign up for this. Before we had Samantha, if there were a line for 'Raising the Special Needs Child', I would have avoided it like the plague. I would have pushed other people ahead of me to be the very last in line. Okay, maybe even shoved people ahead of me.
Now that Samantha is in my life, I couldn't imagine it any other way but that does not make me special. The things I do, I do because I love my daughter. Just like any other mom.
The other day I was out with some new friends. A couple of them did not know our situation so I was talking about Samantha and her condition.
"Well," said one mom, "now I feel guilty for complaining about my kid's kindergarten class!"
"No!" I said, "never feel guilty. Your story, my story it's all parenting. Once I am singled out as 'that mom of the special needs child', the playing field becomes different. And tonight I don't want to be different. I just want to be.
Just me, friends, and a glass of wine....no special....and somehow not being special made the night a little special.