Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Death Sucks

My friend Heidi lost her friend Cat today to breast cancer.

I never knew Cat.

But Heidi and I would talk about her and what she was going through. A couple weeks ago she sent me Cat's Caringbridge site so I could follow her story. I was so touched by her story, her strength and her beauty.

Perhaps it was the stressful eight hours we spent at Children's today....

Perhaps I had become a bit of a voyeur on their website......

When I found out this evening that Cat had lost her battle with cancer, I lost it.

I found myself leaving Heidi a message and not being able to complete a sentence....I was sobbing.

I never knew Cat.

But I knew she was a mom. I knew my friend loved her. I knew from her Caringbridge posts that her new husband loved her.

She was 36.

And it felt good to cry for her. I think sometimes we get caught up in seems appropriate. How we should mourn for what we don't understand. How we should grieve for what doesn't seem fair or what doesn't seem right.

Shouldda, wouldda, for this one there is no rule book. Death just sucks.

2 comments:

Rebecca said...

It does, it sucks. Cancer robs and steals so much. Peace to Cat and her family and your best friend.

I had my own moment on Monday on the Delayed Darling site at Babycenter.com, a little boy, just shy of his third birthday passed away suddenly as he battled with seisures. I cried and mourned for his mother and father. Like you I spent a long time on his blog, I soaked up his little life and the love that surrounded him and I felt spent and so sad. I then went and held my babies and had a "moment".

Heidi said...

Thank you my friend - for writing about my dear Cat - and that death does indeed suck. The thing that I have realized through all of this - it did not take Cat's death for people to come out and speak such wonderful things about her - people have said these things all her life. She was wonderful and amazing, stong and confident - she was an amazing woman, mom, wife, daughter, sister, co-worker and friend- she was truly beautiful inside and out. I loved your phone call - it really meant a lot to me. She touched so many lives - and that is not surprising - she welcomed in everyone and anyone she came in contact with.
Death does suck -but, it can never ever take away the smile and love that she brought to all of our hearts and lives. She lives on in laughter, sunny days, baseball games and chocolate chip cookies. Thank you again for your friendship - I love you my friend!